Adam Rogers On Lasers

Why do I need a laser pointer with a range of 14 miles that can melt a garbage bag?

Look, if you have to ask, you'll never understand me, baby. I mean, I might have to give a PowerPoint presentation at the Rose Bowl. Or what if we go hiking? I could be all, "No, no -- not that alp. I climbed the other alp."

From the office window, it was very cool to paint a luminous green dot on the clock tower a couple of blocks away, even if it meant that anyone on the Bay Bridge -- not to mention the Department of Homeland Security -- could trace the beam right back to me. Totally worth it. Imagine the story: "Oh, that arrest? Yeah. Had a laser that scared the government. Wanna see it?"