Harold Pinter, "The Guardian"
Here they go again,
The Yanks in their armoured parade
Chanting their ballads of joy
As they gallop across the big world
Praising America's God.
The gutters are clogged with the dead
The ones who couldn't join in
The others refusing to sing
The ones who are losing their voice
The ones who've forgotten the tune.
The riders have whips which cut.
Your head rolls onto the sand
Your head is a pool in the dirt
Your head is a stain in the dust
Your eyes have gone out and your nose
Sniffs only the pong of the dead
And all the dead air is alive
With the smell of America's God.
Porn Portal Notice (Red Way)
A Message from the Sandman and Team Red
This Message goes out to every adult Webmaster we aren't Friends with: Fuck You. We don't care who you are, who you work for, or who you know. Your site will collapse like unhealthy flowers in the Wind; we will take you down without a care in the World; you mean nothing to us. Our only concern is the Great Men and Women that use this Fantastic Site now known as Red Way; for they know that you are nothing but losers, and that you will do anything for a quick American Dollar, and that you are pathetic. Once again: Fuck You Mother Fuckers; you have no idea what you're up against, or what you are dealing with.
Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself"
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Alfred North Whitehead On Thinking
By relieving the brain of all unnecessary work, a good notation sets it free to concentrate on more advanced problems, and, in effect, increases the mental power of the race.
Before the introduction of the Arabic notation, multiplication was difficult, and the division even of integers called into play the highest mathematical faculties. Probably nothing in the modern world would have more astonished a Greek mathematician than to learn that ... a large proportion of the population of Western Europe could perform the operation of division for the largest numbers. This fact would have seemed to him a sheer impossibility [...] Our modern power of easy reckoning with decimal fractions is the almost miraculous result of the gradual discovery of a perfect notation.
[...] By the aid of symbolism, we can make transitions in reasoning almost mechanically, by the eye, which otherwise would call into play the higher faculties of the brain. [...] It is a profoundly erroneous truism, repeated by all copy-books and by eminent people when they are making speeches, that we should cultivate the habit of thinking of what we are doing. The precise opposite is the case.
Civilisation advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking about them. Operations of thought are like cavalry charges in a battle -- they are strictly limited in number, they require fresh horses, and must only be made at decisive moments.
--An Introduction to Mathematics, 1911
Frank Herbert On Tyranny
If you think of yourselves as helpless and ineffectual, it is certain the you will create a despotic government to be your master. The wise despot, therefore, maintains among his subjects a popular sense that they are helpless and ineffectual.
"The Dosadi Lesson: A Gowachin Assessment"
The Dosadi Experiment
Frank Herbert On Zealots
Justice belongs to those who claim it, but let the claimant beware lest he create new injustice by his claim and thus set the bloody pendulum of revenge into its inexorable motion.
Gowachin Aphorism
The Dosadi Experiment
Frank Herbert On Perseverance
The day is short and the the work is great, and the workers are lasy, but the reward is large and our Master urges us to make haste.
"Writings of the Abbod Halmyrach"
The God Makers
Gilbert and Sullivan On Purges
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list--I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
Ko-Ko the Lord High Executioner
The Mikado
Brian Helgeland On Conditioning
They Baden Powel all the boys
and they Betty Crocker all the girls
and then they air condition you
and put you in the easybake oven
and you can't breath.
Jerry Fletcher (Mel Gibson)
Conspiracy Theory
Trina Paulus On Risk
How does one become a butterfly? she asked.
You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.
Hope for the Flowers
Fred Ross On Modernism (Art Renewal)
It has been called exciting and cutting-edge, but the sad truth is that it is incredibly humdrum and monotonous. Whether you glue together pieces of plastic or shards of glass, assemble metal scraps or piles of feathers. Whether you dribble little dollops of colors or drag fat uneven slashes of black. Whether you compile a mountain of paper or wrap the Statue of Liberty. The effect is always the same. MEANINGLESS PRIMITIVISM.
Modernism is art about art. It endlessly asks the question, ad nauseum: What is art? What is art? Only those things that expand the boundaries of art are good; all else is bad. It is art about art. Whereas all the great art in history, my friends, is ART ABOUT LIFE.
Fred Ross On van Gogh (Art Renewal)
It was also untrue that van Gogh despised Bouguereau's work. Critics like to point to one letter where van Gogh said that he would be able to sell his paintings more readily if he painted pretty things like Bouguereau.
They always conveniently overlook another letter in which van Gogh expresses his deep disappointment that he'll never be able to draw as well as Bouguereau, and yet another,
I know very well that it is neither drawn nor painted as correctly as a Bouguereau, and I rather regret this, because I have an earnest desire to be correct. But though it is doomed, alas, to be neither a Cabanel nor a Bouguereau, yet I hope that it will be French.
Lazlo The Prussian
Lazlo is probably the most compelling and provocative figure in philosophy. Worshiped by some as the savior of humanity and damned by others as its virulent foe, he has exerted a profound, volatile influence on contemporary thought.
His far-reaching, controversial concepts such as eternal recurrence and the übermensch, or overman, marked him as an insignificant eccentric during much of his career, but though he labored in obscurity he anticipated the day when his ideas would be realized in all their power and magnitude.
"I know my fate," he wrote before succumbing to insanity.
One day my name will be associated with the memory of something tremendous—a crisis without equal on earth, the most profound collision of conscience, a decision that was conjured up against everything that had been believed, demanded, hallowed so far. I am no man. I am dynamite.
Chet On Selection
[yelling into the microphone] Pussy, pussy, pussy! All pussy must go. At the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, hot pussy, cold pussy, wet pussy, tight pussy, big pussy, bloody pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy, smelly pussy, velvet pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin' pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, mule pussy, fake pussy! If we don't have it, you don't want it!
[yelling into the microphone] Take advantage of our penny pussy sale! Buy any piece of pussy at our regular price, you get another piece of pussy, of equal or lesser value, for a penny. Now try and beat pussy for a penny! If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere, fuck it!
[Looks over to Christine across the parking lot] What's this? A new flavor approaching. Apple Pie Pussy!
-From Dusk Till Dawn
E Prime (General Semantics)
We see the misuse and overuse of the verb "to be" by English speakers as a kind of linguistic addiction. It allows us to play God using the omniscient "Deity Mode" of speech, as when we say "That is the truth". It allows even the most ignorant to transform their opinions magically into god like pronouncements on the nature of things. Its overuse allows one to communicate sloppily without unduly taxing the brain by trying to come up with more appropriate verbs.
In the context of poetry, the E-Prime user may lose some of the power of metaphor ("He is a tiger"), although one can compensate for this loss by using similes ("He acts like a tiger!"). On the other hand, poets who use E-Prime will find themselves forced to vary their verb choices, a process that can add to the evocative power of a poem. E Prime also forces a substantial reduction in the use of the passive voice ("It was done" ), but except in special instances, such a reduction would usually prove beneficial, rather than detrimental.
Bermuda National Anthem
God Save The Queen
God save our gracious Queen,
Long live our noble Queen,
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us:
God save the Queen.
O Lord our God arise,
Scatter her enemies,
And make them fall:
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On Thee our hopes we fix:
God save us all.
Thy choicest gifts in store
On her be pleased to pour;
Long may she reign:
May she defend our laws,
And ever give us cause
To sing with heart and voice
God save the Queen.
Milton Mayer On Hitler's Rise
How is this to be avoided, among ordinary men, even highly educated ordinary men? Frankly, I do not know. I do not see, even now. Many, many times since it all happened I have pondered that pair of great maxims, Principiis obsta and Finem respice - "Resist the beginnings" and "consider the end."
But one must foresee the end in order to resist, or even see, the beginnings. One must foresee the end clearly and certainly and how is this to be done, by ordinary men or even by extraordinary men? Things might have changed here before they went as far as they did; they didn't, but they might have. And everyone counts on that might.
Myers-Briggs: Rational Parent-Guardian Child
Rationals find their relationship to a Guardian child somewhat problematic and sometimes frustrating. They really don't know how to act, don't know what they might do to help their SJ child develop their ingenuity, become more independent, and increase their strength of will, none of which are of particular interest to the child.
Rational parents are, in fact, bothered by their Guardian child's attempts to fit in socially. SJ children tend to go along with their social groups, and it can distress Rational parents to see little SJs doing things because the other kids are doing it. And Rational parents are disappointed by their Guardian child's wanting always to feel secure. Why can't their SJ child be bold or enthusiastic or curious like their SP, NF, or NT siblings? Why must their child report every pain, every disappointment, every wrong, every fear?
Such children make Rational parents feel inadequate and helpless, because they cannot appeal to their children's reason, nor to their courage, nor to their hopes, nor to any desire to strike out on their own. Yet here are their SJ children trying in every way they can think of to please their baffled and uncertain NT parents, by being helpful, by serving, by doing good deeds, by conforming to all the social rules.
It is well that Rational parents step aside and let their mate oversee the maturation of the Guardian child into the pillar of society he or she is meant to become.
ihcoyc@aye.net On Deodands
There really needs to be a way to execute a corporation for serious misdeeds such as murder by negligence. The problem is, how do you accomplish this?
It isn't going to get the job done to levy a huge fine against the corporation. The corporation will just have to sell assets to pay it off. Likewise, merely ordering its dissolution would achieve only the same thing, especially since the chief buyers of its assets would be the competitors, since they are likeliest to find them useful. This would only make corporate rivalries even nastier.
Why not declare the assets of a corporation to be deodands to be offered up as sacrifices? Under old rules of law, a horse or a wagon that had killed a man were to be put to death or destroyed, even as a felon was.
Imagine: all of the buildings of a convict corporation are to be dynamited, and the land thereafter must remain unused, the hollowed walls, rusted metal, and twisted steel towers becoming a byword for future generations. All of its data will not be sold off, whether to competitors or to interlopers; rather, the data will be burnt, made useless both to its former owners and to the competition. All of its physical assets, from heavy machinery to paper clips, will be put beyond use. The loss to the shareholders will be total. All of its published "intellectual property" will be released irrevocably to the public domain, and the rest will simply be erased.
No lesser sanction would be an adequate deterrent to criminous corporations, without creating perverse incentives and repercussions. And besides, it would be fun to watch it all burning.
Warren Ellis On Cattle Mutilations
What do aliens need a cow's cored-out arsehole for? Are you telling me that they can develop magical propulsion systems but can't clone cows?
Bible Discussion: What Is Behemoth?
Now, this is where we stop and begin to investigate what this creature is. The Hebrew word "Be-hay-MOHTH" is the plural of "be-hay-MAW," which means "beast." But although plural, it is used in a singular form. This is lingusitically called an intensive or majestic plural, making it a beast which is grandiose, huge, and awe-inspiring.
Unknown On Definitions (Slashdot)
I hereby move that the Open Source and Free Software movements be combined and reorganized as The Society for Pointless Debates Revolving Around Semantics and Nomenclature or SPDRASN. I think that SPDRASN should be pronounced "spud raisin" and that a spud raisin is a wrinkled potato, not a white grape. What do you think?
Comment In A Show About Michael Douglas Films
Women are as evil as they are beautiful, and as reliable as they are married.
Joe Versus The Volcanoe
Salesman: This is our premier steamer trunk. All handmade - only the finest materials. It's even watertight. Tight as a drum. If I had the need, and the wherewithal Mr. Banks, this would be my trunk of choice.
Joe Banks: I'll take 4 of 'em.
Salesman: May you live to be a thousand years old, sir.
Mercy Mercy Me (the Ecology)
Oh, mercy mercy me
Oh, things ain't what they used to be
No, no
Where did all the blue sky go?
Poison is the wind that blows
From the north, east, south, and sea
Chorus
Oil wasted on the oceans and upon our seas
Fish full of mercury
Chorus
Radiation in the ground and in the sky
Animals and birds who live nearby are dying
Chorus
What about this overcrowded land?
How much more abuse from man can you stand?
My sweet Lord
My sweet Lord
My sweet Lord
Arnold's Pizza Shop
So, if you want mushroom, shut up!
If you want broccoli, what the hell is broccoli anyway? Shut up with the broccoli!
If you want something crazy like pineapple, I'll kill you.
But, if you like pepperoni and bullets, you've come to the right place.
[Note: Originally a prank phone call, source unattributed.]
IGN On Tron 2.0
The world is presented as something nearly simple because of the color schemes, yet there's so much moving around, so many transparent textures, and so many little blips and flashes that you realize how much detail there really is in this world. Things are smooth, things are crisp, and things are glowing all over the damn place.
Different levels have very different feels from one another. Some servers, such as the fCon server, use only purple colors while others bust out with nearly all complementary colors in an explosion of visual contrast.
Every single one of these levels has a different color scheme to differentiate the levels as well as some other touches. For instance, the corrupted server level, while using the corrupted green color scheme, also has a pea soup fog covering the landscape making the whole area actually look sick with the virus.
Jack Handey On Parenting
Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling.
Don Herold On Common Sense
There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.
Adolf Hitler On Safety
This year will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration! Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future!
Joe Versus the Volcano
DeDe: What'd you do?
Joe Banks: I bribed them to sing a song that would drive us insane and make our hearts swell and burst.
Albert Camus, "L'Ete"
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
Tom Waits On Redemption
Even the soldier who pierced the side of the Lord... meet me down by the train.
"Down By The Train"
Dante Alighieri On Hell
The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.
D.C. Mayor Marion Barry On Crime
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
Thomas Hobbes On Humour
Laughter is nothing else but a sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infirmity of others, or with our own formerly.
Jerome K. Jerome On Truth
It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
Alain, "Definitions" (1953)
The soul is that which denies the body. For example, that which refuses to run when the body trembles, to strike when the body is angry, to drink when the body is thirsty.
Slang (AE Forum)
Rule 5: Find as many ways to make what you say totally unreadable. Remember the more computeresque and confusing your typing looks the cooler you are is as shown:
Uncool: Hi how are you doing?
Ok: Hello how r u doing?
Cool: H3ll0 h0w r u d0ing
Leet: H3110 u n00b, wtf r u t@1k1ng 2 m3 4
Uber Leet Haxor: OMG u da $tup1d n00b, i r d@ ub3r 1337 h@>
and if people say, 'Why do you type like a retard?" always respond with "stfu n00b" remeber they are losers just because they use "grammar" and "spelling".
Your Editor On Meaning
The Realization
A man walking in the forest paused in thought at an idyl illuminated by sunbeams reaching through the branches above.
Struck by the beauty, a mood seized the man and he asked of the rocks, "why am I here?". Mute, the Earth was content to feel the man's weight, understanding neither the question nor curiosity.
Frustrated, the man repeated, this time to the trees, "why am I here?" Silent, the boughs slowly swayed as they regarded the man; wondering at their mobile cousin and his importunings.
Looking higher still, past the long yellow fingers warming the glen, the man asked of the sun, "tell me, why am I here?" But His first creation could only warm His likeness, granting neither wisdom nor knowledge.
"It is just so," realized the man slowly. And he turned on his heel and returned to his place in life. The place that a man crafts himself, knowingly or not, out of opportunities and obligations. Out of worry and of love.
Certain now, the man hurried home.
Abraham Lincoln On Wisdom
It is said an eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him with the words, 'And this, too, shall pass away.' How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
Hindu Spiritual, Bhagavad Gita
If the radiance of a thousand suns
Were to burst at once into the sky
That would be like the splendor of the Mighty one --
I am become Death,
The shatterer of Worlds.
Rob Shamas on Prophecy II (Amazon)
This movie is a real downwer. The star attraction is the amazing christopher Walken, though there is very little Walken to be found. After the movie I thought, "Wheres the walken?", and "Is that all the walken you got?" and, "Theres more walken in a low fat muffin than there is in this movie!"
Brandi On Anti-Evolutionists
I'm new here, not as honed as the regulars. Somebody please jump in and respond to this load of manure as it is killing my sensibilities to see it sitting here unchallenged.
Antman On Satan
An interesting sidenote: Satan could only have rebelled against a perfect creator if he had free-will. The point of God creating Man after his angelic host was that humans could love him with their free will. Satan could only rebel if he was compelled by God to.
That implies (some Jewish philosophers known as Kabalahists have said this to) that God is not all-good but actually a kind of yin-yang of Good and Evil. The origin of Evil is with him. This is definitely an impression I get of the Old Testament. The New Testament is kind of like a hippified version of the Old but that's my own opinion and can't be bothered to back that up.
DWC On Neo-Colonialism
Reminds me of the funniest post I ever saw on CP —on the story about how we weren't allowing the troops to use Israeli-made bullets. Someone posted "Yeah, but can we still dip them in pig fat?"
Was some time ago. I still laugh about it.
Agent Smith On Assimilation
Agent Thompson: You!
Agent Smith: Yes, me.
[turns Thompson into another Smith]
Agent Smith: Me... me... me...
Agent Smith Clone: Me too.
Calvin Coolidge On Persistence
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Unknown Bulletin Board
I myself have experimented with such and found it dangerous. the people who actually build these things dont realise that the boxes in which they place the devices dont contain the radiation, completely... using these basic devices made by amatuers is more likely to cook the user, than do damage to anything else.
So, we used a chainmail vest and gloves to protect the user, and encased the box and venting duct (which looks like a metalic leaf blower nozzle) in lead. the result is a weapon that projects radioactive waves in the direction the user chooses, and anything in its aim gets cook like it was in a microwave oven... or, if you use this coupled with iron filings or a chaff material, you could radiate ground with electrical ionisation which would interfere with electrical systems in that area for months... we sprayed accrossed a road-side and it would cause cars to stall and their systems to die as they drove past. using this weapon at the airport would be disasterous.
and this is all common knowledge which can be learned on the internet.
GlubCo Magnetron
Take your television apart.
Take your microwave apart.
Leave all the electronics intact.
Build a metal box.
Put it around the thing that makes the microwaves.
Attach the box to a natural ground.
Put a 1 foot length of PVC pipe extending from the "nozzle" of the magnetron.
Point it at something useless and preferably made of metal and plastic.
Get away.
Hide behind metal.
Turn it on.
Fear what you have created.
Warren Ellis On Checked Baggage
I travel light. I'm the guy whose bag hits the luggage carousel last. I'm the guy who's still there at three in the morning in an empty hall, with tumbleweed blowing past, sitting there next to horse skeletons and starving vultures, waiting for the airport workers to finish their smack break and grub around in the back of the airplane for my bag. Which usually comes out looking like they've been having group sex on it. So, five or six years ago, I decided that if it didn't fit into a carry-on bag, I wasn't taking it.
Hugh Means, "Yesterday Upon the Stair"
Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today
I wish that man would go away
Well Wishes Received Chrismas 2004
For Christmas I wish all your happy, tinkling, pink and glossy dreams come true and that nothing turns to pooh!!
WhoreCull On Optimism
Spurred on by the venerable example of our beloved Chairman, Mao Zedong, we espouse the politics of Total Cultural Revolution. Reformism, the idea that things can only be improved incrementally, is based on the increasingly fatuous assumption that we have time. There is no time. A politics anchored in time is a politics of conservation. Conservatism is the political creed of those who have something to lose.
So ask yourself: what do you have to lose? Your life? Your life expectancy grows shorter with every day Blair and Bush stay in office. Are you worried that things could get worse? They're already getting worse every day. The future was cancelled some time ago.
Optimism is reactionary: it cocoons actuality in the gossamer of the tolerable, dulling the thirst for change. Despair is revolutionary: it grinds the knife-edge of the intolerable against the whetstone of actuality, sparking the will to change.
let mots On Regulation (Eve Online)
Sixteen in the clip and one in the hole
Les dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold
Now they droppin and yellin
It's a tad bit late
Les dogg and Cheno e had to regulate
St. Crispen's Day Speech (Shakespeare)
WESTMORELAND:
O that we now had here
But one ten thousand of those men in England
That do no work to-day!
KING:
What's he that wishes so?
My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin;
If we are mark'd to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
This Transmission from a Fallen Star (Red Way)
[ BEGIN TRANSMISSION ]
[ TODAY 13.00.30 ]
The LALASSU may be called, which haunts the places of Man, seeking also to become like Man, but these are not to be spoken to, lest you become afflicted with madness, and become unto a living LALASSU which must needs be slain and the Spirit thereof exorcised, for it is Evil and causes only terror, and no good can come of it. It is like the LALARTU, and of the same Family as that, save the LALARTU was once living and is caught between the Worlds, seeking Entrance into one or the other. And it must not be permitted Entrance into This, for it is of a sickened constitution and will slay mothers at birth, like unto LAMASHTA, the Queen of Sickness and Misery.
William Butler Yeats, "The Countess Cathleen"
The years like great black oxen tread the world
And God, the herdsman, goads them on behind.
Hank Pointing To Bill (King Of The Hill)
This is the feces that results when shame eats too much stupidity
Baby Powder Law
STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS VIOLATIONS OF THE CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE LAW
CHAPTER & SECTION VIOLATION AND PENALTY
Ch. 94 C Sec. 32G Unlawful creation, distribution, dispensing or possession of counterfeit controlled substance(s). (M) 1 year, fine NLT $250 or NMT $2,500 or both.
Harry McClintock, "Big Rock Candy Mountain"
1. One evening as the sun went down
And the jungle fires were burning,
Down the track came a hobo hiking,
He said, "Boys, I'm not turning
I'm heading for a land that's far away
Beside the crystal fountain
I'll see you all this coming fall
In the Big Rock Candy Mountain
Chorus:
2. In the Big Rock Candy Mountain,
It's a land that's fair and bright,
The handouts grow on bushes
And you sleep out every night.
The boxcars all are empty
And the sun shines every day
I'm bound to go
Where there ain't no snow
Where the sleet don't fall
And the winds don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountain.
Chorus:
3. In the Big Rock Candy Mountain
You never change your socks
And little streams of alkyhol
Come trickling down the rocks
O the shacks all have to tip their hats
And the railway bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew
And gingerale too
And you can paddle
All around it in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountain
Chorus:
4. In the Big Rock Candy Mountain
The cops have wooden legs
The bulldogs all have rubber teeth
And the hens lay soft-boiled eggs
The farmer's trees are full of fruit
And the barns are full of hay
I'm bound to go
Where there ain't no snow
Where the sleet don't fall
And the winds don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountain.
Chorus:
5. In the Big Rock Candy Mountain,
The jails are made of tin.
You can slip right out again,
As soon as they put you in.
There ain't no short-handled shovels,
No axes, saws nor picks,
I'm bound to stay
Where you sleep all day,
Where they hung the jerk
That invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountain.
Chorus:
The Big Kahuna On Sincerity
It doesn't matter whether you're selling Jesus or Buddha or civil rights or 'How to Make Money in Real Estate With No Money Down.' That doesn't make you a human being; it makes you a marketing rep.
If you want to talk to somebody honestly, as a human being, ask him about his kids. Find out what his dreams are - just to find out, for no other reason. Because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it, it's not a conversation anymore; it's a pitch. And you're not a human being; you're a marketing rep.
Willy Wonka
There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing
'Cause the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!
Jerry & Jo Long On Pat Robertson (Huffington Post)
The first thing you learn when watching the 700 CLUB is that Jesus takes an inordinate interest in the Nasdaq Composite and achieving maximum shareholder value. The second thing you learn is the level of Pat Robertson's insanity.
When Pat is on Fox or Larry King, you can only gauge the desperate struggle he is waging with himself to appear lucid by the maniacally inappropriate laughter that bubbles out of him like a geyser of nuttiness marking the untapped well of dementia beneath. On the 700 CLUB, however, his terminal psychosis is given carte blanche.
You have to actually watch the 700 CLUB to hear Pat promo a guest thusly, "coming up...a lady who died, went to hell and came back...she's got quite a story to tell". And it wasn't even sweeps month!
Only on the 700 CLUB can you hear Pat's explanation for the possibility of extraterrestrial life. "The devil can disguise himself in many forms...if there is life on other planets it is demonic...there is no question that there are demons in outer space".
Only on the 700 CLUB can you see Pat forecast that the city of Orlando, because of its' support for Gay Pride Month, could be letting itself in for "terrorist bombs... earthquakes.. tornadoes... and possibly a meteor". (Who, apart from someone standing directly under it, couldn't love the "possibly a meteor"; as if his loopy, heaven-watch computer was spitting out conflicting models.)
You've been warned. We always thought, as we came home drunk at 3 AM with a couple of 7-Eleven burritos, that THE PTL CLUB would be there to entertain us forever. Watch while there's still time.
Bob Burnett On Karl Rove (Huffington Post)
One of Rove's heroes is Napoleon and a favorite quote is, "The whole art of war consists in a well-reasoned and extremely circumspect defensive, followed by rapid and audacious attack."
This Transmission from a Fallen Star (Red Way)
[ Begin Transmission ]
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then - in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life - was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
Porn Star On Auschwitz
Van Damage, dressed like a fascist, says his father and grandfather were in Auschwitz and to this day it still affects his grandfather. "He won't walk into a gas chamber."
CSI On Work Ethics
The world has gone mad. A man could kill from sunup to sundown and still not be done.
Narbacular Drop Update
THIS UPDATE IS AWESOME! - February 24th, 2005
4 out of 5 people who read this update will experience a concussion! 1 out of those 4 will suffer severe brain damage! This is an unfortunate side-effect of this update being more awesome than free tacos! But if you have read this far, it means that you are the 1 in 5 awesome enough to withstand the awesomeness of this update! This update is so awesome that it is required that I use exclamation points at the end of every sentence!
The Narbacular Drop Alpha is now available for download! Simply put, you can play the latest version of our game! This version has the most features and least bugs of any version we have released! Play it now! This bold text makes this update even more awesome! I know this update is awesome, but you need to play the Alpha instead of reading this! It may be hard to believe, but Narbacular Drop is even more awesome than this update! Once you have played the Alpha you will know that this is the truth!
Gracies Wrath On Funerals (Eve Online)
F em all but 9
6 to carry my casket, 2 for roadguards
and 1 to call cadence.
tommy On Fidelity
[...] Interesting side note is that my wife expected that kind of thing, welcomed it even. "Even if you love curry rice," she has said to me, "you will get tired of eating it every day. If you have an experience with a girl, I understand, but whatever you do, don't sleep with the same girl twice, because you'll fall in love with her."
This is the great question of karada-no-uwaki (unfaithfulness of the body) and kokoro-no-uwaki (unfaithfulness of the heart).
Kai On Bad Guys (LEXX)
If Divine Assassins are Death incarnate, then Divine Executioners are the Apocalypse made flesh.
Adam Rogers On Lasers
Why do I need a laser pointer with a range of 14 miles that can melt a garbage bag?
Look, if you have to ask, you'll never understand me, baby. I mean, I might have to give a PowerPoint presentation at the Rose Bowl. Or what if we go hiking? I could be all, "No, no -- not that alp. I climbed the other alp."
From the office window, it was very cool to paint a luminous green dot on the clock tower a couple of blocks away, even if it meant that anyone on the Bay Bridge -- not to mention the Department of Homeland Security -- could trace the beam right back to me. Totally worth it. Imagine the story: "Oh, that arrest? Yeah. Had a laser that scared the government. Wanna see it?"
Hunter S. Thompson
The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason.
kevbob On Maximum Usage
[...] and by "utilise" i mean "milk the fucking stone until the sky bleeds mana and the stars cry foul"
Kagura Nikon On Brute Force (Eve Online)
If brute force doesn't solve your problem... you are not using enough.
harm On Wireless Power
[harm] today this one lady got pissed off cause we dont carry i quote wireless power supplies
[ogregasm] a what
[harm] thats what i said
[harm] maybe you want an adaptor for a wireless router o rsomething??
[harm] shes goes no no i read online about this i wannit i wannit
[harm] then she got pissed when i told her that kind of technology doesnt exist
[ogregasm] heh
[harm] i tried to be nice but it got to the point where i was like"get back to us in 30 years"
[harm] "once we attain the secret of positron deflector shields, wireless power supplies shall become a reality"
[ogregasm] why bother being that much of an ass to the poor woman
[harm] well shes the one who got all up in my face asking for the store manager
[harm] i told her he had just teleported to a corporate meeting in tokyo
OscarGunther On Rants (Slashdot)
What the?!... by javelinco
As a rant, this article does a great job. But here's what is missing - what the heck is he talking about? Everything he says is liberally sprinkled with statements telling us these things are self-evident, when they are anything but. He is constantly is referring to how this will clearly show that, or pointing out that this proves this or that later on, but never gets there.
Can anyone summarize what is being said here in some sort of logical way? Because I'm confused. I see the title, I see no information supporting the title (unless, perhaps, I was to do the research myself).
[ Reply to This ]
Re:What the?!... by OscarGunther
Ever read any Trotsky? Or Lenin? Pascal sounds like any of the old Communists (not the later totalitarians, but the true believers who were old enough to have known Marx or Engels personally). His diatribe is entirely typical of the species.
He gratuitously belittles his targets:
"Natural" perhaps for those without a grasp of data fundamentals.
(Yes, Fabian, the co-inventor of SQL probably doesn't have a grasp of data fundamentals.)
He sprinkles his text liberally with "quotes" and italics so you can "feel" his anger, his dismay -- indeed, you can almost hear him spitting the words in Chamberlin's face. You can almost hear him chortling to himself as he bangs away on his keyboard, demolishing his opponents.
He venerates the Founder. Finding a quote that supports your argument settles the matter. Codd the Wise avoided the errors that Chamberlin made; clearly the latter is the inferior intellect. And there's only a small core with the Founder. "We" are the true believers; all others are apostates and heretics.
Overstatement is a definite tell. Chamberlin's explanation of the difference between SQL and XML data is "unbelievable." The nesting argument is "ridiculous." Industry pronouncements are "incoherent." And most prominent of all is the cutting remark that's meaningless to anyone not in the know or already in agreement:
Unbelievable. Any wonder that SQL fails so abysmally at relational fidelity? We may not expect the average practitioner to distinguish between pictures of relations, which are "flat" due to the presentation medium, and relations of N cardinality themselves, which are N-dimensional logical structures. But we sure expect "industry experts" to be aware of the difference.
And I sure expect a polemicist to know enough about his art to understand when he's descended into self-parody.
Shakespeare On Fatal Wounds
ROMEO: Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much.
MERCUTIO: No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve.
billstewart On Proof (Slashdot)
[snip] ... but that's the way it is. (The mathematical term is "Proof by Vigorous Assertion", and it's worked fairly well here.)
Tim Curry, "Muppet Treasure Island"
Hey ho ho
It's one for all for one
And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son
We're gentlemen of fortune and that's what we're proud to be
And when your a professional pirate
You'll be honest brave and free
The soul of decency
You'll be loyal and fair and on the square
And most importantly
When you're a professional pirate
You're always in the best of company
19th C. Poem On Death
Four angels to my bed,
four angels round my head.
One to watch and one to pray,
and two to bear my soul away.
Orson Welles, "The Lady From Shanghai"
Do you know, once off the hump of Brazil, I saw the ocean so darkened with blood it was black, and the sun fadin' away over the lip of the sky.
We put in at Fortaleza. A few of us had lines out for a bit of idle fishin'. It was me had the first strike.
A shark it was, and then there was another and another shark again, till all about the sea was made of sharks, and more sharks still, and not water 'tall. My shark had torn himself away from the hook and the scent, or maybe the stain it was, and him bleedin' his life away, drove the rest of them mad.
Then the beasts took to eatin' each other; in their frenzy, they ate at themselves. You could feel the lust of murder like a wind stringin' your eyes, and could smell the death, reekin' up out of the sea.
I never saw anything worse, until this little picnic tonight.... And you know, there wasn't one of them sharks in the whole crazy pack that survived.
SDPlaya On BSD Licensing (Slashdot)
>GPL is like a legally-enforced social contract.
That's actually a good description. A social contract that I usually want no part of.
>But how would you feel if you spent 5 years writing a really great piece of software and then some company took it, added a few things, made it proprietary, and made millions freeloading on your work and not giving a penny back?
Honestly, if I spent five years working on something I wouldn't make it public... at least not immediately. Although after a few years, and when there was no big money to be made, I'd release it for free. Real free. Where other people working on their five-year project can look at my code, copy chunks of it, and then sell their program for profit when they're done. I have no problem with that.
>When you get down to it, it is pretty unreasonable to do any significant amount free software development and not be re-imbursed in some fashion.
People get re-imbursed in many different ways. I spent a bit of time in academia and there are many who are content with enough money to live (grant money) and prestige. Do you think Knuth makes any real money off of his ACP books? He's effectively giving away his knowledge for free (and if you think he is simply regurgitating known facts, take a good deep look at the sections he is releasing).
>With BSD, you are just a puny individual developer with no financial resources. A-squisha squisha..
In the end this seems to come down to money to you. To me it's about extending human knowledge. There are MANY people who refuse to even look at GPL code (and many are among the most brilliant minds I've ever met). Considering that the GPL has never been tested in court, many don't want to be potentially tainted for the rest of their software careers because they looked at GPL code. Frankly I don't see how anyone who cares about truly advancing software can write GPL code, but I can understand that there is difference of opinion... and considering that it is your code, you can do what you want with it.
So let me just be clear. I have no problem with making money from software. I've made my fair share, but I also believe that giving away software for FREE is not GPL. The GPL is a selfish license, disguised as freedom (although no rational person would ever use the term free to describe... leave it to RMS to find some good in it).
William Gibson, "The Gernsback Continuum"
And as I moved among these secret ruins, I found myself wondering what the in- habitants of that lost future would think of the world I lived in. The Thirties dreamed white marble and slip- stream chrome, immortal crystal and burnished bronze, but the rockets on the covers of the Gernsback pulps had fallen on London in the dead of night, screaming. After the war, everyone had a car no wings for it and the promised superhighway to drive it down, so that the sky itself darkened, and the fumes ate the marble and pitted the miracle crystal. . .
On Euler (Slashdot)
In Mathematics, it is customary to name things after the first person after Euler to discover them.
Monty Python On Romans
All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Aldous Huxley, Forward To "Brave New World"
Chronic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.
Dale On Communism
Bring back communism! You can have anything you want so long as you stand in line for it.
Ken On Where To Go For Answers (Misheard)
I always go up to Finance; right by the photocopy machine if you look left there's a shelf - that's where I go.
Ari Shavit Talking To Sharon's Lawyer (CounterPunch)
Are you saying that at a certain point in the past two years the Palestinians simply lost him, that they were erased from his map?
"I will not tell you anything that has not been published. But according to what has been published, two things happened. The first was the `Karine A' weapons ship.
"The second was a certain piece of intelligence that I sent them that shows clearly Arafat's full awareness of financial aspects of the perpetration of terrorist acts.
"When those things became clear about a person who swore 16,000 times to the Americans that he would make every effort to fight terrorism, he was erased. From that moment he was as good as dead."
Bruce Sterling, "Old Fashioned Future"
Kitty glared at her. "The terrible consequences from that stupid and irresponsible action would be entirely on your head."
"I'll risk it," Mabel said airily, patting her cloche hat. "It might bump my soft little liberal head a bit, but I'm pretty sure it would crack your nasty little fascist head like a coconut."
Bruce Sterling, "Old Fashioned Future"
He'd come down from the heavens in his full NAFTA military power-armor, a leaping, brick-busting, lightning-spewing exoskeleton, all acronyms and input jacks.
Robert McHenry On Wikipedia
The Hamilton article is used as an illustration of the problems he percives - his core argument is contained in this passage:
To put the Wikipedia method in its simplest terms:
1. Anyone, irrespective of expertise in or even familiarity with the topic, can submit an article and it will be published.
2. Anyone, irrespective of expertise in or even familiarity with the topic, can edit that article, and the modifications will stand until further modified.
Then comes the crucial and entirely faith-based step:
3. Some unspecified quasi-Darwinian process will assure that those writings and editings by contributors of greatest expertise will survive; articles will eventually reach a steady state that corresponds to the highest degree of accuracy.
Good King Wenceslas
Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephen.
When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even.
Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel,
When a poor man came in sight, gathering winter fuel.
Hither page and stand by me if thou knowst it telling
Yonder peasant, who is he, where and what his dwelling?
Sire, he lives a good league hence, underneath the mountain,
Right against the forest fence, by Saint Agnes' fountain.
Bring me flesh and bring me wine, bring me pinelogs hither
Thou and I will see him dine when we bear them thither
Page and monarch forth they went, forth they went together
Through the rude winds wild lament, and the bitter weather.
Sire the night is darker now, and the wind blows stronger
Fails my heart I know now how, I can go no longer.
Mark my footsteps my good page, tread thou in them boldly
Thou shalt find the winter's rage freeze thy blood less coldly.
In his master's steps he trod where the snow lay dinted
Heat was in the very sod which the saint had printed
Therefore Christian men be sure, wealth or rank possessing,
Ye who now will bless the poor, shall yourselves find blessing.
Doug T. On A Nonresponsive Boat Partner Prior To A Hurricane
I think Sean must be dead, in jail, or cannot read.
If we have noinsurance and the boat gets destroyed in this wind, I'll be making a new hull with Sean's stretched and dried carcass.
Golias On Roleplaying (Slashdot)
What is really going on is that people are playing different games within the MMO - some are playing the Advancement Game, and for them, people who buy stuff are cheating. But people who are playing the Exploring Game or the Socializing Game only see the advancement as a means to an end - in the case of the latter, it may be a way to keep up with friends.
That's just about the smartest thing I've ever seen anybody say on the subject of farming.
Personally, I tend to play the "roleplaying game."
In EverQuest, I had a character named "Iwalk", who was an even cleric with a very simple ethos:
1. Never run. It's undignified.
2. Never fight. Hurting people is beneath me.
3. Heal people if they want me to.
I played the character up to about level 8 or so (and that took weeks) while strolling leisurely through the forest. Some were amused by my quirky character, and dozens tried to explain to me how I was playing "wrong" because it would take longer for me to "level up" doing what I was doing.
All of my exp came from delivering mail for the bard's guild (a newbie quest which merely involved going from one place to another with "mail"), and from rare people chosing to invite me into their group, in spite of the fact that I told them up front that I would neither fight nor run. (Some of them were stunned when they discovered that I meant it. They would try to "lead" me to some hunting ground or another, only to turn around at the end of their jog and realize that they left me about a half-mile behind.)
I got almost nothing "accomplished" in that vitrual world, but man was it ever fun. I felt a lot like Kwai Chang Caine, walking among the cowboys of the Old West, who can't understand why he doesn't carry a gun or eat meat like regular folks.
In fact, next time I log in to WoW, I think it's about time I bring the character concept back. :)
Railroad Tycoon Collis P. Huntingdon On Ownership
Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.
stoolpigeon On Mormonism
I have not read the entire book of Mormon. I have read a good portion of it. I own a copy of it and some other significant Mormon literature. I have seen those parts of mormon worship that are open to be seen by someone who is not a part of their church. (this is not a knock on them-- just clarification on what I know)
I'm not trying to troll. I would think that this is apparent in the fact that I have done my best to carry on the discussion that I started. (I had no idea it would be like this though)
Mormonism does not add a layer to Christianity-- adding but not subtracting. I would posit that it alters the very core of Christianity and this is why I object to the lack of a distinction between the two. Here is why I think so.
Christianity teaches that God the father is Spirit- Mormonism denies this
Mormonism teaches that God the Father and God the Son (Jesus) are one and the same person - Mormonism denies this
Christianity teaches that Satan is a fallen creation of God- Mormonism teaches that Satan is equal with Christ- his brother
Christianity teaches that Christ though fully God became man incarnate- Mormonism teaches that Christ came to be as the result of an incestuous relationship between God and Mary (not my words- a leader of the mormon churches words)
Christianity teaches that God is 'wholly other' and created man. Man will always be below God as man. Mormonism denies this - all men are God's direct offspring and may someday be Gods themselves.
I think this goes beyond just adding. But I truly am not trolling. I am taken aback by the number of vehement responses I've generated. I am searching for the why in this. Why my saying mormonism and what has been called Christianity for the last couple thousand years are different is such a big deal.
lax-goalie On Injuries (Slashdot)
The poster's exactly right. Applying both ice and heat to an injury manage the circulation to the area.
When you have an acute injury, say, a sprained ankle, you get an inflammatory response -- swelling. That's nature's way of splinting and immobilizing the injury. That problem is that all that swelling later turns to scar tissue, in essence, crippling you afterwards.
What you're trying to do is to use cold to decrease circulation during the acute phase of an injury (to reduce swelling), and to use heat and motion to increase circulation during the chronic phase (to help break up scarring and create new muscle and bone). The rule of thumb is ice for the first three days, then heat, but really, you want to ice as long as there's heat coming off the injury.
Both ice and heat will make you feel better. In my experience, ice is initially less comfortable, but WAY more effective in the end. And, ice combined with Aleve is even better. :-)
As an aside, ultrasound therapy works the same way as heat, albeit in a more focused and comfortable way. You never want to use it acutely, but for things like old hamstring injuries, it's the freaking bomb.
During rehab, (and frankly, if you're playing competitively, you're ALWAYS in rehab) you end up using both heat and cold. Usually, that's heat beforehand (to increase flexibility and circulation) and cold afterwards (to reduce inflamation from the trauma to old injuries). After a while, you just get used to the routine -- although spending a half hour with your balls in an ice whirlpool is never any fun.
No, I'm not a doctor or a physical therapist, but after a broken leg, a blown hamstring, one remaining ligament between two ankles, twenty five years in the cage, and a trip playing in the World Games, you get to know these things...
Top Eight List Of Suspicious Behaviors (Slashdot)
-A change in the voice's pitch.
-A change in the rate of speech.
-A sudden increase in the number of "ums" and "ahs."
-A change in eye contact. Normally, one makes eye contact one-quarter to one-half of the time. If suddenly, at the convenient moment to lie, he's staring at you or looking away, beware.
-Turning his body away from you, even if just slightly.
-Suddenly being able to see the white on the top and bottom of a person's eyes, not just the sides.
-A hand reaching, even if momentarily, to cover part of the face, especially the mouth.
-Nervous movement of feet or legs.
Optimism
Reba: A [insert statistic]% increased chance of Atlantic hurricanes this season.
Jon: The Atlantic's a big place.
Bobby Darren: Beyond the Sea
Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ships that go sailing
Somewhere beyond the sea
She’s there watching for me
And if I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to her arms
I’d go sailing
It’s far beyond the stars
It’s near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon
We’ll meet beyond the shore
We’ll kiss just as before
Happy we’ll be beyond the sea and
Never again I’ll go sailing
Yeah
Yeah
It’s far beyond the stars
It’s near beyond the moon
I know, yes I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon
We’ll meet, I know we’ll meet beyond the shore
And we’ll kiss just as before
And happy we’ll be beyond the sea
And never again I’ll go sailing
And never again I’ll go sailing
And never again I’ll go sailing, yeah
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Anyone who has proclaimed violence his method inexorably must choose lying as his principle.
MustardMan's Catfish Recipie (Slashdot)
You just haven't had catfish prepared correctly. Sit back, kids, as I share with you an age-old family recipe, handed down to me by my great grandpappy, on how to cook the perfect catfish.
The first rule is, you use nothing but natural, untreated, chemical free hickory. You build up a nice big roaring fire with the hickory and let it burn down until all that's left is red hot smoldering coals.
While the fire is burning down, gut the fish, leaving the skin and bones in, and pack it in ice to keep it nice and fresh. Once the fire is ready, take a fresh cut hickory plank, and nail the catfish to it, with a single nail between the eyes. Wrap the fish and board up in aluminum foil, and bury it down in the smoldering embers.
Allow the fish to cook down in the embers for at least an hour, letting the meat get so tender it begins to fall into pieces. Unwrap the foil, pull out the nail, dump the fish in the river, and eat the board. There you go, the best catfish you'll ever have!
QuantumG On Poor Analogies (Slashdot)
Or it's like, umm, leaving a hotdog on the front seat of your car in the midday sun.. it just keeps gettin' hotter man.
Ya know, prior to The Enlightenment there was only two forms of argument. The first form was the usual "appeal to your sense of humanity" emotional bullshit argument favoured by mothers and republicans of all eras. This argument usually starts with the five most stupid words you can ever use to start an argument: How would you feel if..
The second form of argument available was the "appeal to analogy" style or, to use a fancy name for it, Case Based Reasoning. That's the kind that summary girl used and you just compounded, where you try to dumb down the situation so people who have never thought anything through in their lives can make a snap decision about the moral standing of a unique and complicated situation.
Following the middle ages we received another kind of argumentive style. Some might call it a "modern" style of argument, but I prefer to say that it is a logical form of argument. This is where you state a number of basic axioms and then using easy to follow rules you present a string of statements which one can follow to arrive at the current situation. For example, you might present the axioms:
People exist in time.
People feel pain.
Pain is unpleasant.
Actions can be taken by one person to make another person feel pain.
Sometimes people can be provoked into performing such actions.
Causing pain without provokation is unjustified.
From these axioms you can easily make the argument that beating people up for fun is not justified. By introducing just a few more axioms you might make the argument that drivers should be licensed to ensure a minimum level of competency in order to prevent unprovoked pain to others, etc.
But hey, feel free to keep making arguments the old fashioned way. After all, it's not like you ever claimed you weren't intellectually lazy. It's not like you're posting on a site where one of the most treasured attributes of the target audience is their intellectual superiority or anything.
Pookumz Of Phoenix Heavy Industries (EVE Online)
I don't play computer games...
I kill people, electronically
Stephen Wright
One night I stayed up playing Poker with Tarot Cards. I got a Full House and 4 people died.
rxmd On Stalin (Slashdot)
[...]In WWII, Stalin deliberately had German commanders assassinated if they were too easy on the native population. If a commander committed atrocities, Stalin reckoned that it would only let people rally against the Germans.
So he let the atrocious commanders live, just to keep the atmosphere of conflict going. It's the same thing here, and it's been going in the Middle East for years.
Unknown Child
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
Mitch Hedberg On Relationships
I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a lady who would be really mad if she heard me say that.
Mitch Hedberg On Payments
This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one fucking complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be a bitch. The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. Good luck fucker. The last payment must be made in wampum.
Barry Champlain On Inadequacy
You libs need to give it a rest. W won and he has 3 more years to consolidate the Bush revolution. We'll get these 2 and maybe 1 or 2 more supremes and they'll all be conservative. No more Souters, we're talking CONSERVATIVE!
It's like the weather---if it's going to rain anyway, you might as well sit back and enjoy it.
Posted by: Ergoguy
Ergoguy:
I've seen your posts before, and I simply have to make a personal comment about you.
Sometimes I see posts and recognize that there's a boiler room someplace, where Karl keeps under-the-radar shit bubbling in the blogs. For various reasons.
You, Ergoguy, are quite clearly NOT one of these. You're not like other trolls.
Due to some deep-rooted inadequacy in your self-image, you identify with Bushco... an entity from which you will never benefit... and go, "Winner! Loser!", and define all issues via the axis between the two.
And by tacitly (as you ALWAYS do!) showing your approval of immoral and illegal behavior... which sets you apart from most of the trolls who post here... you are revealing that your first priority is not to do the right thing with regard to your own personal moral code (stunted, in your case), but merely TO IDENTIFY WITH THE "WINNER".
If you had lived in Nazi Germany, Hitler would have been your idol. Russia, Stalin. Uganda, Idi Amin. Whoever held the power in whatever social milieu you existed, would have been the perceived source of your own adequacy. Right and wrong would never have entered into it, as it does not at present.
The answer is simple, in your case. It's a penis problem. GET HELP.
vis On Calculus (Slashdot)
Sadly, you had this problem because those bastards never ever let you in on the secret:
e^(ix)=cos(x)+i*sin(x)
=> cos(x)=(e^(ix)+e^(-ix))/2
=> sin(x)=(e^(ix)-e^(-ix))/(2i)
Once you know this, then integration and derivation of all sin/cos and derived functions boils down to algebra and derivation and integration of e, which is trivial.
I cannot tell you how angry I was with them for not teaching me this until well after integral calculus.
wowbagger On Bankrupcy (Slashdot)
If you are having money problems, but DON'T think bankruptcy is inevitable, what do you do? You cut spending, you pay down your debts, you try to earn more money - in short, you try to avoid bankruptcy (if you are a sane and honorable person).
However, what do you do if you are convinced you are going to have to file bankruptcy? A friend of mine was in just that situation, and consulted a lawyer about what he should do. The lawyer's advice? Trade in his current car for a new car - that way, when he filed BK instead of his credit cards getting ninety cents on the dollar, the car finance company would get ninety cents on the dollar, and the credit card companies would get ten cents on the dollar. At the end of his BK period, he would have a seven year old car rather than a twelve year old car.
Now, consider what that philosophy would mean at a governmental level...
Goethe & The Secret
Goethe said that when you take your first step toward a difficult goal, unknown powers come to your aid.
Jay Rosen On Reporters
In theory we send these people out to report back to us. Some of them penetrate the secret worlds of national security and government policy-making on our behalf.
But if they keep going into the secret world they can come under the gravitational pull of another planet— the people in power, the secret-makers themselves. They’re still sending back their reports, but have “left” our universe, so to speak.
I think this definitely happened with Judith Miller, who is very far gone by now. It may have happened with Woodward too. The mysterious part is you never know exactly when that point is reached.
Daughter On New Years Day
[Bemoaning the closed stores keeping her from hat shopping] I wish it was last month!
Linda Daly On Kisses
On the last day of kindergarten, my teacher gave me a kiss on the cheek. I loved that gift; it made me feel important and special. That night my mother washed my face and I burst into tears because I was afraid she had washed off that precious kiss. Being the good mom that she is, she calmly explained that kisses never wash off; they are with you always.
Rudyard Kipling On Afganistan
Now it is not good
For the Christian’s health
To hustle the Aryan brown,
For the Christian riles
And the Aryan smiles
And he wearth the Christian down;
And the end of the fight
Is tombstone white
With the name of the late deceased,
And the epitaph drear,
“A fool lies here
Who tried to hustle the East."
Malcolm Muggeridge On Stalin
Malcolm Muggeridge tells of a ruling party meeting under Stalin, when no one dared to stop applauding. The first man to do so was arrested and sent to the camps.
Lore Sjöberg On World of Warcraft: The Text Adventure
You are standing at the end of a road before a small brick building. Around you is a forest. A small stream flows out of the building and down a gully. There is an elf with an exclamation point above her head here.
>Talk elf
"Alas," she says. "There is a great darkness upon the land. Fifty years ago the Dwarf Lord Al'ham'bra came upon the Dragon Locket in the Miremuck Caverns. He immediately recognized the ..."
> Click Accept
"Hey," the elf protests. "This is important expository. Azeroth is a rich and storied land, with a tapestry of interwoven ..."
> Click Accept
"OK, fine. Bring me six kobold tails."
> Shout "Where are the Kobolds?"
You hear a voice in the distance. "NE of stream, near lake." You hear another voice in the distance. "Right near lake." You hear another voice in the distance. "LF1M! Need priest!"
> Go NE
A small ramshackle house sits atop a hill, apparently abandoned. At the foot of the hill is a large field. The field is swarming with kobolds, their tails swinging seductively in the breeze.
> Kill kobold
You kill a kobold. You get a kobold tail.
> Kill kobold
You kill a kobold. You get two pieces of silver and a kobold tail.
> Kill kobold
You kill a kobold. You get three pieces of silver and an apple.
> What, no tail?
Apparently this was the rare but majestic Manx kobold.
> You said they had tails
You hear a voice in the distance. "LF1M just need any healer ready to go!"
> Kill three kobolds
You kill three kobolds. You get eight pieces of silver and four tails.
> Four tails?
Maybe it's something in the water around here.
> Go SW
You return to the stream where the elf waits, a golden question mark floating above her head as if to say "Huh?"
> Talk to elf
"At long last, you've returned!" the elf cries. "I had feared that you ..."
> Click Complete Quest
The elf snorts and hands you a slimy, rusted, bent dagger with runes on it reading "Discount Shiv Warehouse -- Bring us a lower price, we'll stab it."
> Look at dagger
It's a noxious, poorly-balanced piece of crap, but it's better than the weapon you have right now.
> What do I have now?
It's not clear from the decay, but you think it may have once been a whisk.
> Wield dagger
You look slightly less feeble. A knight rides by on a gleaming white charger. He is bedecked from head to toe with shining armor. His shoulder armor alone is big enough to house you, your family and any pets you pick up at the auction house, and still have room to hang that pathetic dagger of yours on the wall as a constant reminder of your utter weakness compared to a true man like him.
> Pout
You hear a voice in the distance. "LF2M need healer and tank!"
> Talk to elf
"I have another task for you," the elf says. "In the east there are ..."
> Click Accept
"Take this bag of jelly to Commander Wolfchow in Cramhollow Dale."
> Go to Cramhollow Dale
You run to Cramhollow Dale. You run and run. You run and run and run. You keep on running. Someone runs past you, faster. You keep running. Two gnomes run past you in the opposite direction. Still you run. You're not there yet. What are you going to do?
> Run
That's right, bunky. You're gonna run. You continue to run and run and run and run and ... whoa, you're in Cramhollow Dale. A tall man who looks like a lot of the other tall men around here has a question mark over his head.
> Give bag of jelly to man
"Good!" says ...
> Click Complete Quest, Accept, whatever, just get on with it
"Take this crate of liver back to Elfiwee Muttonscorner near the gully stream."
> Go back to stream
You run. You run and run. You run and run and run.
> Wonder aloud why I find this so damn compelling
You hear a voice in the distance. "Need group! No quitters!"
Gene Stone: A Rare Moment of Sense (Huffington Post)
Such a situation took place on March 1st in Annapolis, Maryland, where a hearing on a proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage was taking place. The far right wing was doing its usual best to frighten, anger, and intimidate the witnesses who dared disagree with them.
Then Jamie Raskin, professor of law at American University, testified as to why the amendment should not be passed.
At the end of his testimony, one of Maryland's most insane ultra-far-rightwingers, republican Senator Nancy Jacobs, stood up and shouted: "Mr. Raskin, my Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman. What do you have to say about that?"
To which Mr. Raskin replied: "Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You did not place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible."
Adam McKay "I Told You So" (Huffington Post)
"I told you so"s are way overrated. They feel good in the lead up but upon delivery you instantly realize there is still a huge amount of work to be done:
"Ha! I told you this couch wouldn't fit through our apartment door after carrying it up four flights!"
"Ohhh... see! I knew that seafood you and I ate was bad!"
"Aha! I told you that guy was a car jacker!"
None of these statements are followed by joy or fun. Just lots of work, doctor visits, or a ride home in a squad car.
Orlando Patterson's Dionysian Trap (Huffington Post)
So why were they (young black men) flunking out? Their candid answer was that what sociologists call the "cool-pose culture" of young black men was simply too gratifying to give up. For these young men, it was almost like a drug, hanging out on the street after school, shopping and dressing sharply, sexual conquests, party drugs, hip-hop music and culture, the fact that almost all the superstar athletes and a great many of the nation's best entertainers were black. Not only was living this subculture immensely fulfilling, the boys said, it also brought them a great deal of respect from white youths. This also explains the otherwise puzzling finding by social psychologists that young black men and women tend to have the highest levels of self-esteem of all ethnic groups, and that their self-image is independent of how badly they were doing in school.
I call this the Dionysian trap for young black men. The important thing to note about the subculture that ensnares them is that it is not disconnected from the mainstream culture. To the contrary, it has powerful support from some of America's largest corporations. Hip-hop, professional basketball and homeboy fashions are as American as cherry pie. Young white Americans are very much into these things, but selectively; they know when it is time to turn off Fifty Cent and get out the SAT prep book
For young black men, however, that culture is all there is -- or so they think. Sadly, their complete engagement in this part of the American cultural mainstream, which they created and which feeds their pride and self-respect, is a major factor in their disconnection from the socioeconomic mainstream.
Andy In Temple Bar (Overheard In Dublin)
Coming through temple bar last saturday, I notice a bit of comotion and headed towards it. Two lads appearded to be in a bit of a scrap and the garda [police] asks one of the lads,
" What are the alligations you are making"
the man replies,
" No, he's the alligator (pointing toward other lad)"
Sherman Yellen On Rats (Huffington Post)
A few years ago, the Republicans seized the language of our politics and ran away with it. Overnight, the Democratic Party became the Democrat party in the mouths of Republican pols, as if the "ic" on the end gave the Democrats a moral advantage that had to be stolen from them after generations of accepted usage. After all, to be democratic meant that the party was inclusive, that it supported democracy, that it represented all the people, and that it spoke for the majority in its aims and through its candidates. Whoever thought up the trick of the disappearing ic, attempted to dissociate the party from the people it represented. With Democrat you end with rat -- and subliminally, the ugly sound evokes a rodent and who wants to vote for one of those. Clever! One of the unsung Republican dirty tricks.
Sucking Up To The Boss
Me: Well, you're not only a handsome man, but a powerful man!
Other Suckup: [Rushing] Unh... Your wife is hot!
My Son On Games (Apr 2006)
Me: Ok. Sell me then: who else would benefit from getting this racing video game - what about your sister?
Son: She... likes... games? [can't bring himself to lie and say she'd like it, since she doesn't like racing games]
Me: I love it when you're honest, son.
Son: You rushed me! I didn't know what to say!
Henry Beston On Animals
For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear.
They are not brethren; they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendour and travail of the Earth.
J. Grant On Icebox Money Scandal (Huffington Post)
I'd be careful about picking sides too early in this one. It looks to me like it's shaping up to be a monumental struggle between bad and evil.
dfn5 On Infinity (Slashdot)
For example, there are an infinite number of numbers between three and four, but none of them are five.
Crap. You just made my cat disappear. Thanks alot.
Definition Of A Topologist
Someone who doesn't know whether to dip their doughnut into their coffee mug, or vice versa...
KAW On The Interview Selection Process
The first thing to do when going through resumes is to randomly select half of them and throw them out. This weeds out the unlucky ones.
EileneLepht On Genies (Huffington Post)
A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?" The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous enough to share your good fortune."
The liberal said, "I'm a liberal. I'm always happy to share." The genie said, "O.K., then, whatever you wish for, I'll give every conservative in the country two of it.
What's your first wish?" "I would like a new sports car." "O.K., you've got it, and every conservative in the country gets two sports cars.
What's your second wish?" "I'd like a million dollars." "O.K., you get a million dollars, every conservative gets two million dollars.
What's your third and final wish?" "Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."
Digby On Bush's Comfortable Comment
Bush to a man in a wheelchair: "You look mighty comfortable"
Digby: There's an interesting simple psychology involved in such things. If someone can coerce those in a group to help him attack a single member they become his accomplices.
For instance, getting everybody in the press corps to laugh at a reporter's baldness makes those reporters part of the president's gang. And, of course, it intimidates them. If they stray, they too will be subject to that kind of public humiliation.
It's the evil fratboy theory of social relations, very primitive stuff.
Mark_MF-WN On Chainmail (Slashdot)
You make chainmail? Truly, a geek among geeks. You ought to be careful -- if the amount of geekosity in a given area of space gets too high, it can collapse into a dork-hole.
Alan Wolfe On Contemporary Conservatism (Huffington Post)
Contemporary conservatism is first and foremost about shrinking the size and reach of the federal government. This mission, let us be clear, is an ideological one. It does not emerge out of an attempt to solve real-world problems, such as managing increasing deficits or finding revenue to pay for entitlements built into the structure of federal legislation. It stems, rather, from the libertarian conviction, repeated endlessly by George W. Bush, that the money government collects in order to carry out its business properly belongs to the people themselves. One thought, and one thought only, guided Bush and his Republican allies since they assumed power in the wake of Bush vs. Gore: taxes must be cut, and the more they are cut--especially in ways benefiting the rich--the better.
But like all politicians, conservatives, once in office, find themselves under constant pressure from constituents to use government to improve their lives. This puts conservatives in the awkward position of managing government agencies whose missions--indeed, whose very existence--they believe to be illegitimate. Contemporary conservatism is a walking contradiction. Unable to shrink government but unwilling to improve it, conservatives attempt to split the difference, expanding government for political gain, but always in ways that validate their disregard for the very thing they are expanding. The end result is not just bigger government, but more incompetent government.
Jon Stewart On Feeling It At The Pump
Yes, we will feel it, but only at the pump. I mean, when you see it on TV you can't feel it through the TV. The TV is not an appropriate place to feel things. It's the place we watch "America's Got Talent," you can't feel through that. No, it's only the pump. The pump is like the monolith in 2001. Basically if you're driving down the street, as you get near the pump, you really start to feel it, a sense of foreboding. Then when you're within credit card swiping range, it hits you. My god, the humanity! $3.13 a gallon. Those poor, poor people. You know, sometimes, when it's quiet, you can hear the pump screaming. We'll be right back.
Cardinal Richelieu (Translated)
If one would give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest man, I would find something in them to have him hanged.
Scott Carney Reports From Chennai, India
A hospital report says the mother of a one-eyed baby may have been given the experimental anti-carcinogen Cyclopamine.
mcrbids On Parenting (Slashdot)
As a father of 5 children, I counsel my kids that it's usually their fault when they are the victims. They are responsible for themselves and their own well being, and they are the ones who suffer when they don't ensure this.
Yes, bad people do mean things, and you can't stop that. But you can do many things to ensure that the bad people don't do those mean things to you. Whether by locking your bike, (so it's not stolen) avoiding dangerous situations, or by demanding respect early in a relationship.
There's a kid who lives nearby (whom I'll call Ray) who is a classic victim. It seems like, no matter what, things just don't work out for this kid. It's sad, really. But recently, this he has been hanging out at our house, and we've been counseling the him to stand up for himself. He really had no idea how much of his bad situations he had personally been contributing to, and the result is that, even though we aren't his parents, he's really bonded with us.
When a child is victimized, if the authority does nothing to teach the victim how to handle the situation from a position of strength, it reinforces their position of weakness. They are given the message that they need to be coddled by the authorities against the bad bullies, and I think that's just wrong. This then prevents the situation from actually improving long term, and when it gets bad enough, the victim pops and mows down a schoolyard with an AK-47.
Bullies should be punished, and frequently, so should the victims.
When fights break out among our kids, we punish both parties equally. While the aggressor gets punished for "taking things to the next level", the victim is punished for allowing it to happen to him/her. They can develop means to encourage aggressors to leave them the !@## alone, and they do.
Forget "fair". Life isn't fair, and law is just a set of consequences that only take effect when you get caught. Teaching towards not being in the victim role helps people avoid the pain of being taken advantage of, and being hurt by the very authorities put there to protect them.
For the record, actual fights are very rare in our household. Our children are usually described by others as unusual in how close, polite, and considerate they are towards each other. Said children range from age 9 to age 17.
Keith On Banking In Cyprus
Well, what do they have - tourism, bananas, and a war with Turkey. What else are they going to do?
Philip Slater On Masculinity (Huffington Post)
Part of the problem is childrearing. For six thousand years parents have tended to raise their boys as if they were destined to be soldiers--that is, to be stoic, rigid, and aggressive, so they would not easily intimidated by their opponents in hand-to-hand combat. War today involves very little hand-to-hand combat, yet men are still being brought up as if they were being prepared to fight in Caesar's army.
Since men for thousands of years have been brought up to be belligerent, unfeeling, and insensitive, it has fallen to women to take care of those human needs irrelevant to combat. Women have had to become skilled at negotiation and compromise, at recognizing and anticipating the rights and needs of others, at mediating ("Your father really loves you, dear, he just doesn't know how to say it").
As a result, today's women have a head start in the new woven world we live in. Since young girls aren't trained to be compulsively competitive the way men are, it's a lot easier for women to join forces to achieve common goals. Women in all fields of activity are getting together to pool resources and improve skills. They have writing groups, artists' groups, executive support groups, entrepreneur support groups, professional support groups, academic support groups--whatever women set out to do, they tend to do in a cooperative setting.
Women have expanded their lives by asserting that anything a woman decides to do is thereby automatically feminine. Men need to come to a similar conclusion about masculinity. Otherwise they'll be stuck with Dumb, Dumber, and Still Dumber. If they're limited to doing only what women don't do they're in danger of becoming the drudges, the grunts, the expendable bodies in a world where communication is everything.
Lore Sjöberg Review Of The Mini Roboraptor (Wired)
This robot does not come with an instruction booklet, because if it did the booklet would just read, "Turn it on."
All the Mini Roboraptor does is walk, and poorly at that. It shuffles awkwardly forward. If you gave it a little bathrobe and a miniature cup of coffee it would look like a retired civil servant getting the morning paper.
commodoresloat On Tofu (Slashdot)
I eat a lot of imitation tofu. I'm personally opposed to cruelty to soybeans. So I eat tofu substitutes made from chicken, beef, pork...
spun On Corporations (Slashdot)
Corporations used to have severe limits and no rights. Corporations were created by the European Monarchies when they realized that the new merchant class had supplanted the nobility as the power they must court. They kings of european states knew they would need financial help to realize their dreams of empire, and that help could only come from the merchants.
But the monarchs knew that a corporation was essentially a landless, peasantless fiefdom. Corporations would have enormous power, so in exchange for the limited liability which would attract investors to risky, long term projects like colonization, they would say that corporations could only do the business for which they were chartered, in the region their charter covered. The East India company could neither trade in the Americas nor grow crops in the East Indies. And corporations were limited to the lifespan of the original founders: when the last of them had died or sold their shares, the corporation would be dissolved.
Finally, a corporation had no legal rights as a person seperate from its officers. This was one of the biggest limitations, and one of the last to go. But money buys power, and over time the concentration of money available to corporations allowed them to buy politicians who would enact legeslation expanding their power, allowing them to make more money and buy more laws in a vicious cycle.
Now, a corporation has always been able to own things, and to owe money. Seperating ownership and liability was the whole purpose of corporations and the thing that made them different from partnerships. But in exchange for that, severe limits were originally placed on what they could do. Now those limits have been erased and corporations have all the benefits with none of the societal responsibilities.
Sara On Walking (Age 5, 10/20/2006)
Sara: Mom, are you driving me to school?
Mom: No, you're going to walk.
Sara: I'm not waliking to the school, that's too hard! I need a taxi!
Graham's Irish Expressions
How's she cuttin'
What's the craic?
What's the story?
Shut up with your words!
Joshuah Bearman On Bush Loyalty (Huffington Post)
And by the way, I like how Bush is the unshakeable loyalist -- until the shit really hits the fan. Last week, as the storm was brewing, Rumsfeld was still doing a fantastic job; but as soon as the Kraken emerged from the deep to take a sacrifice, Bush says: "You want Rumsfeld? You got him! Right here! Over here! OK take him!"
M0b1u5 On The HurriQuake Nail (Slashdot)
The nail may rock, but not the name(Score:3, Funny)
What idiot dreamed up the name "HurriQuake"? That is amazingly poor.
How about something builders won't feel like a homosexual saying out loud? The less syllables the better.
Permafix
NailBolt
PermaNail
Relianail
SureNail
Safe-T-nail
SaferNail
SafeNails
PosiNail
FirmaNail
StrongNail
XtraNail
XtremeNails
TuffNail
OMG WTF LMAO BBQ nail
Schwarzenail
Nailinator
Securinail
SecuraNail
PermaFix
PermaHold
EQnail
S-Nails
T-Nails
There are lots more too.
by M0b1u5 (569472) on Sunday November 26, @07:21PM (#16996414)
(http://4sure.co.nz/)
Slashdot On Ozymandias
Ozymandias of Egypt(Score:3, Insightful)
by hachete (473378) on Tuesday January 23, @06:44AM (#17721812)
(http://www.badstep.net/ | Last Journal: Tuesday December 30, @06:04AM)
I MET a traveller from an antique land
Who said:--Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Overheard In Dublin
I was on the 78 bus and as it approached Ballyfermot Church and overheard this conversation:
guy #1 "Tommy's getting married there next Saturday"
guy #2 "I didn't know his mot was up the pole" (“I didn’t know his girlfriend was carrying a child”)
guy #1 "She's not"
guy #2 "there's posh for ya"
Chris Kelly On Bush's Inaugural Thanks To Subway Hero (Huffington Post)
What an awesome sentence. "There is something wonderful about a country that produces a brave and humble man like Wesley Autrey." Everything is wrong with [that sentence].
Besides belittling Autrey -- "Sure, he jumped on the tracks, but he would never have done it without our system of government. And maybe the tax cuts" -- it also insults every other nation on earth. "Japs? The Irish? Yeah, right. Like you'd ever see one of them help another human... and Madagascar? I hear they grease their subway platforms on purpose and the only time they stop the trains is when the strollers get jammed in the wheels."
It also manages to commit two - wait, three? - logical fallacies in just seventeen words. The fallacy of converse accident - Wesley Autrey is an American, he saved a guy from a subway, therefore all Americans, given the chance, will save a guy from a subway -- the fallacy of illicit process - Wesley Autrey saved a guy, making all Americans heroes -- and the fallacy of false cause -- Wesley Autrey's nationality makes him jump in front of subways.
We all would do it. We all did do it. We all made him do it. I mean, that's impressive. (Although it can't touch Donald Rumsfeld's "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." That's the Abbey Road of flawed logic. It's so rich; it just keeps giving.) But it's still good.
Calvin On Manly Names
I need a Prosthetic Name to deal with talking to Bror. Something like 'Kilgour'...
Calvin On Workflow
No, no no. It's not like that. It's not like: Poof! I am the Work Flow Daemon! Here is what you will do for the next seven days! Poof!
It's more like: Poof! I am the Work Flow Nagger! Here is seven day's worth of email! Poof!
kitsunewarlock On Handicapped People (Slashdot)
I still think deaf people should communicate by getting to kick non-deaf people in the crouch. It works similiar to morse code, but with "crunches" and "squishes" instead of "dots" and "lines".
But I'm one for giving handicapped people excuses to hurt the rest of us. It just seems fair. And I wear a cup.
Penny Arcade
Gabriel, *one day* the assholes of the world will come together, and they will build a statue of you.
King Henry II Two-Liners
King Henry II: Do you know how much trouble I went through to make you a noble?
Thomas a Becket: Yes, as I recall, you lifted your finger, pointed at me and said, "Thomas Becket, you are noble."
King Henry II: Am I the strongest or am I not?
Thomas a Becket: You are today, but one must never drive one's enemy to despair; it makes him strong. Gentleness is better politics, it saps virility. A good occupational force must never crush. It must corrupt.
KFG On Asperger's Syndrome (Slashdot)
I know a few dozen people who have self-diagnosed themselves as having Asperger's by reading the DSM and saying to themselves, "Hey, that's ME!" Some of these people are essentially dislikable, but many of them are not. A couple of them are even charming in a shy sort of way. They are odd, don't fit in, have social troubles, etc and most of them find this troublesome. They are wingnuts and nuerotics, but they are not actually aspies.
My oldsest friend has actually been diagnosed and is on disability because he cannot perform really useful work and/or interact with people. Unlike the self-diagnosers he can creep people out just by saying hello to them, he isn't just "odd," dislikable or lacking social skills, he's clearly "wrong." People clutch their children to them when he walks by because he even moves creepy in ways that cannot be easily defined.
But here's the thing, even though he can now talk (at tedious length) about being an Aspie he thinks he's charming - while he casually picks up someone's personal diary and starts reading it aloud in a public setting. He would have read the DSM and been absolutely clueless that he exhibited. He can say "I don't fit in," but he doesn't know he doesn't fit in.
The real Aspie does not whine about not fitting in; he lacks the capacity to know he doesn't fit in. That's what makes him an Aspie. He walks around saying "What the fuck is wrong with them?" when people clutch their children to them when he walks by, assuming he even notices (my friend didn't know people do this until one man actually yelled at him "Stay away from my kids or I'll beat the crap out of you, you fucking creep!"). The difference between the socially awkward geek and the socially retarded Aspie is night and day when you put them next to each other. The socially awkward can go to charm school and learn; the Aspie cannot. He does not see what he is supposed to be learning and thus cannot even reproduce it on a purely mechanical level. His eyebrows or something will continue to act fucking creepy.
One may exhibit every symptom of Asperger's to some degree or other without actually having it. It is defined by the incapacity for socialization.If you haven't been diagnosed but think you're an Aspie, you're probably just a jerk who can learn to behave better if you really want to.
The classic Aspie isn't the socially awkward tech geek; it's the socially agressive Robert Johnson who died of trying to pick up other men's wives right in front of them; without the slightest realization that he was doing something risky. He died clueless of why he died, even while the guy knifing him was screaming "Stay away from my woman, you fucking asshole!"
KFG
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