Chris Kelly On Bush's Inaugural Thanks To Subway Hero (Huffington Post)

What an awesome sentence. "There is something wonderful about a country that produces a brave and humble man like Wesley Autrey." Everything is wrong with [that sentence].

Besides belittling Autrey -- "Sure, he jumped on the tracks, but he would never have done it without our system of government. And maybe the tax cuts" -- it also insults every other nation on earth. "Japs? The Irish? Yeah, right. Like you'd ever see one of them help another human... and Madagascar? I hear they grease their subway platforms on purpose and the only time they stop the trains is when the strollers get jammed in the wheels."

It also manages to commit two - wait, three? - logical fallacies in just seventeen words. The fallacy of converse accident - Wesley Autrey is an American, he saved a guy from a subway, therefore all Americans, given the chance, will save a guy from a subway -- the fallacy of illicit process - Wesley Autrey saved a guy, making all Americans heroes -- and the fallacy of false cause -- Wesley Autrey's nationality makes him jump in front of subways.

We all would do it. We all did do it. We all made him do it. I mean, that's impressive. (Although it can't touch Donald Rumsfeld's "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." That's the Abbey Road of flawed logic. It's so rich; it just keeps giving.) But it's still good.